


Five to Three

by Tory (Ejes)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Songfic, challenge, collection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-28
Packaged: 2019-10-15 12:37:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17528864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ejes/pseuds/Tory
Summary: Five days left before Kingdom Hearts shines its light upon us. Let's wait for it with 5 songfics. None of them will spoil anything in KH3, and they are all talking about different characters!





	1. 5. Homecoming King

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are. The final days. Maybe you've already got a copy of the game. Maybe you'll get it on Tuesday. Maybe later. But no matter what, no matter how long you've waited, whether it's over a decade or just a few months, the wait is getting over. In five days, Kingdom Hearts 3 will be released in the West. In a few hours, it will be in Japan.
> 
> Let's all wait for these final days together. I won't be able to play before next Friday, so please don't discuss leaks/game content in the reviews, I would really appreciate. None of these fics are dealing with leaks. There will be some of the latest events in KHUX in some of them, though.
> 
> This will be a collection of 5 songfics, as a challenge with SaphirActar. We both chose 5 songs for ourselves, and the other gave themes, general directions, or characters for each song.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> Song 1 : Homecoming King - Andy Black. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdnoLaNmIwA

 

* * *

_Some nights you lie_  
_Some nights you don't_  
_But they all feel the same_  
_Sometimes you wish you could turn to stone  
_ _And be perfect always_

Not all nights were the same. And yet, deep inside, they didn't feel that different. The nights he'd lay awake, staring at the ceiling. The nights he'd pace in his room. The nights he'd count all the steps in the Castle. 358. The nights he'd finally manage to fall asleep. No matter the night, morning would still come, and he wouldn't feel any better. Or any worse. He wouldn't feel anything at all. He was nothing, but a fancy puppet. A moving stone statue. He wasn't expected to be anything else.

_In the crowd alone 'cause no one wants to know you_  
_Do they?_  
_Don't they?  
_ _Right here but no one's watching_

Was there a time when he had been proud to stand next to that man? Probably. On the early days. He had looked up to him, his Leader, his King. He would have followed him anywhere, willingly. He still followed, but will had nothing to do with this. More than followed - he ordered. He knew all there was to know about the team, more than the Leader did. And yet, which of them knew him? They used to know who he _had been_ , but not who he _was now._ They didn't care. It didn't matter. That's what he kept repeating to himself, but deep down, deep inside, some parts of him still felt lonely.

_Here comes the invisible man_  
_That no one turns to see  
_ _I'm just another dumb fool who'll never go down in history_

_Yeah, you're standing there with the homecoming king_  
_Turn the silver spoon into a diamond ring  
_ _Can he make you disappear without anyone noticing?_

They looked at him and all they saw was the Superior. They didn't engage conversation with him. They looked away when he walked in, hoping he wouldn't notice them, hoping he wouldn't give them anything to do. He wasn't someone. He was a mission, he was a job they prayed someone else would have to do. He hadn't been himself for years now. The Leader had erased him completely. He had to admit, this was brilliant. Cleverly done. He had been a disruptive element, back in the days. He was now something feared and ignored. He didn't matter anymore.

_And I stare the fan on the ceiling_  
_All night, all night_  
_All these memories won't stop running_  
_My mind, my mind_  
_And the rats in the walls keeps scratching_  
_My life, my life_  
_And all the voices won't stop laughing  
_ _I can't fight again_

There were still some nights, a few nights, that were a bit different. Nights when he'd remember truly who he used to be. Who he had dreamt to be. Who he wasn't. These nights, he somehow was a bit more in control. He'd wake up screaming, terrified, but he'd wake up as himself. And when morning came, it was different too, because the night had ended with something holding his hand, rocking him, telling him it was okay. It was never okay. This wasn't the life he had wanted.

_You see your hands are tied now_  
_Just like your eyes will stay closed_  
_Come in the tower singing  
_ _Oh no, that's not the life I chose_

He'd look into the mirror, and he, himself, couldn't recognize the face on the other side. These eyes, these ears. This scar. A sign of submission stronger than a leash. Reminding him the cost of disobeying. It hurt, but it wasn't a pain he could fix. It hurt and it was the only thing that reminded him he was still _alive_. He'd stand by the Superior, he'd be his puppet, he'd lose all of who he was. But he was alive, and he remembered. He was alive, and he wouldn't be forgotten. He was alive, and one day, he'd get his revenge.

Live the life he chose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 5 Days to Go


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I should have added that while this is a countdown to something I'm super excited about, I'm not sure a single one of these will actually be happy. Hahaha.
> 
> This one is the KHUX spoiler one, so if you don't want to hear about any Streli's update, run!
> 
> Song 2: Mirrors - PVRIS https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcPqz3OSAIE

Elrena splashed some water on her face, her gaze avoiding the mirror in front of her. It was always when night came that she saw the faces, instead of her own - worst, she sometimes _saw_ her own face, except it was different, and it was almost worse.

She heard a giggle and closed her eyes. She didn't need the voices as well. She couldn't escape them. Anytime a mirror was close, she would hear them. Calling for her.

"Elrena! Come on, don't be shy. Look at me. What is it you're so afraid of?"

_Everything_ , she'd think but not answer. "Elrena. Please. I'm alone. I'm afraid. Help me."

She hadn't meant to look. Her eyes just moved on their own. And now she was staring at a girl in the mirror, a girl that wasn't her. She was a few years younger than El, with ginger hair tied in twintails. She looked a lot like her brother. She was wearing a white dress, where a red flower bloomed on her chest. The flower bloomed and bloomed, staining the book she was holding. Elrena took a step back. The girl smiled at her. "Elrena, this hurts… I need your help. Please. It hurts…"

Elrena crushed her fist into the mirror, shards of glass cutting her hand. "Shut up. You're not real. You're not real and you're dead. I can't help you."

The girl laughed. "Of course you can help me! I'm so lonely… You can join me."

"Leave me alone! We barely knew each other. Leave me alone. Leave me alone." Elrena ran from the bathroom, but the voice wouldn't leave her. "Then bring me my brother. I miss him, I miss him so much. Bring him back to me. Our family can be back together again, Elrena. I just need your help."

As she ran, and ran, her reflection got caught into many things. Door handles, shiny tiles, and every reflection held a different face, all children, all begging. "Join us, Elrena. Let Lauriam join us too. This world isn't yours. Come back to your world, come back to us."

She kept telling herself that this wasn't reality. That it was just guilt talking, from leaving her world behind, for choosing to be a Dandelion and letting her friends die in a war, that she did what she had to. That she couldn't have saved them.

There was a door at the hand of the corridor, the one she was running to. But as her hand closed on the handle, she caught the reflection she feared the most.

Blonde hair. Sharp features. Slender figure. She knew it was her, but at the same time, these golden eyes were nothing familiar.

"You can't keep running all your life, darling." The voice said, and it did sound like a mature version of her own. "Stop shying away from your sins. Live with them. Give up that heart of yours and embrace the Darkness. You'll see how easier life is, once you give up everything…"

"SHUT UP!" She yelled as she opened the door to safety.

"SHUT UP!" She yelled as she opened her eyes, in her bed, sweating from the nightmare, shaking and gasping for air. That's why she avoided sleeping at all cost. She jumped out of her bed, out of her room, and hurried to another door in the corridor. It wasn't the same door as the one in her dream, but it led to the same person. The same safety. And when the handle reflected her golden eyes, she didn't react, because it _was_ her reflection. She opened the door without knocking, sliding herself into the room, almost running into the arms of the one sitting on the bed.

"Larxene? That's unusual."

"Lauriam, I…"

He softened when hearing his old name. "Did you dream of Strelitzia again?" He wrapped his arms around her, allowing her to bury her face in his chest, hiding her tears. They shared a bond no one could understand. Shared a past no one could believe. And shared a guilt no one could imagine.

They both were used to running from mirrors, for they only ever reflected their sins, wearing the face of a young girl with a bright smile and a red flower blooming on her chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Four Days to Go


	3. 3. Dirty Laundry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set in my Dreaming Alone AU - if you don't know about it, it's an Earth, Vanqua AU (well, pre-Vanqua). Deals with kinda serious topics here at some point.  
> Song 3 : Dirty Laundry - All Time Low https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTwmxiLSD0w

_I don't believe in saints_   
_They never make mistakes_   
_I know it's not my place_   
_Who am I to tell you that you need to change?_

When people looked at Aqua, they always saw the exact same thing. A nice, sweet girl who would do anything to help people. A flawless person. A saint, really. But when Vanitas looked at her, he saw her for who she really was. Someone who doubted. Someone who did some wrongs in her life. Someone who was scared, worried, lacked confidence. Someone fragile hiding behind a solid mask. Not the unbreakable wall, but the crying little girl curled behind it. Not that he could blame her for that.

_Her closet's such a mess_   
_Filled up with all the skeletons she's kept_   
_Nobody's perfect I confess_   
_But she's perfect enough without ever dressing up, yeah_

She had so many secrets, keeping them from anyone, from everyone. Even he didn't know them all. He only knew bits of some, knew she used to fake smile more than to smile for real, knew she'd sometimes lie and pretend to be busy only to have some time for herself, knew that she had bought at least five train tickets just to get the hell out of there, and never dared to leave. It didn't make her weak. It only made her loveable. It made him love her even more at every secret.

_Dirty laundry is piling in her room_   
_She's got her secrets, yeah I got mine too_   
_I don't care about what you did_   
_Only care about what we do_

They didn't have to know everything about each other. What if she lied sometimes? He lied much more than that. What if she dreamt of running away? He'd just run with her, sliding his hand in hers, promising her they'd be fine. He couldn't blame her of being unhappy. He could only help her being happy again. Turning these fake smiles into real ones, once again.

 _Now here's some honesty_  
_Sometimes I trip over your history_  
 _Wish I could change my mind_  
 _But it's the things I shouldn't see that always catch my eye_

There were times when he saw things he wished he hadn't, but he had. The boxes of antidepressant that would sometimes roll out of her handbag. The puffy red eyes she tried to hide with makeup. The dark circles that wouldn't leave her face for weeks. The things she was good at concealing, the things he was the only one to notice.

 _Dirty laundry is piling in her room_  
_She's got her secrets, yeah I got mine too_  
 _I don't care about what you did_  
 _Only care about what we do_  
 _Dirty laundry_  
 _Looks good on you_

She had secrets, and he had too. She had things to hide. She wasn't perfect. She was doing an excellent job at making believe she was, but this was a game he was good at, even though he never bothered trying to pretend. What could be her biggest secret? He couldn't even imagine. He knew his own, though. These feelings should never be spoken out loud. Because she wasn't perfect, and yet she was perfect to him, but she wouldn't be perfect with him. Because she belonged with someone else. Because she already was with someone else.

Because no one should know about her imperfections, and no one should know how much he loved her for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 Days to Go


	4. 2. Upside Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING. THIS FIC ISN'T ACTUALLY ANGSTY. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I MANAGED TO WRITE SOMETHING HAPPY. AT LEAST FOR TODAY.  
> Song 4 : Upside Down - Set it Off https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymIijxwKtYI

Her alarm didn't go off. She had forgotten to clean her face before sleeping and her makeup had stained both her pillow and her cheeks. Her hair refused to be styled the usual way. Her coat got caught when the door closed and she could hear a ripping sound.  
Today was going to be a terrible day.  
Demyx ran through the corridor, screaming that he was late and that Saïx would murder him, and that finally brought the ghost of a smile on her lips.  
Today wasn't that bad.

* * *

The coffee machine was broken. Her replacement tea tasted soapy. Marluxia made fun of her hair, Vexen stepped on her toe and didn't even apologize, or acknowledged her. Xigbar said something off-limit and Marluxia stopped her from killing him.  
Today was the worst.  
Saïx handed her a mission with a strange expression on his face, almost apologetic. "You'll have to work with Demyx, today. He's there already."  
She read her mission with a sigh. She'd survive the day.

* * *

"You don't look good."

"Well, f-"

"What I mean is you look like you're having a bad day. Like you're tired already. What's wrong?"

She glared at her teammate. They were sitting close to the village cave, in the Land of Dragons, waiting for the Heartless to fall into the trap they set. It was carrying a special item that the Organization needed, and their goal was to collect it.

"Everything's wrong, Demyx. We're doing a boring job, surrounded by morons with a boss we barely ever see. Don't tell me you like this. I know you don't."

Demyx shrugged. "You're right, I don't. But I won't let that ruin my mood either. Things could be worse. Things can always be worse. Everyday I'm not turned into a Dusk is a good day." He winked at her. "Everyday I'm teamed up with you is a good day."

"Shut up," she said, rolling her eyes. They both knew how dangerous it was to form bonds, and they kept pretending to hate each other in front of everyone. They weren't supposed to feel anything - let alone feel _this kind_ of feelings.

"What I mean is, see the good in everything! I complain a lot, but truth is I'm an optimist. You should try that too, Larxene. It feels good."

"It shouldn't feel anything, stupid."

Their conversation was cut by a growl in the cave. Their target was here.

"Here we go, then." Larxene's fingers sparkled as she summoned her Foudre.

"Hey, Larxene? Before we go…" Demyx kissed her cheek, right at the corner of her mouth, then beamed at her. "Things can always go wrong, but they'll just as likely go right, so turn that frown upside down, will you? When you're happy, you're less likely to murder me. Happy Larxene is my favourite Larxene."

She chuckled, surprising herself, and flicked his forehead. "Got it, Water Boy. I'll still murder you some day, but you've bought yourself 24 hours of peace. For fixing that frown."

She smiled at him, and he smiled at her, and they stepped into the cave.

Today was pretty decent, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 Days to Go.


	5. 1. Terrible Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how not-sad the previous one was? Well, this one sure is making up for that. I love this song, and it makes me so sad everytime.  
> I had to mess a bit with the ages they have in canon to make this work!  
> Song 5: Terrible Things - Mayday Parade https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIulZ0Vw2z8

"Say, Aerith? Can I ask you something a bit… personal?"

Aerith looked at Yuffie, surprised. The girl wasn't one to ask for permission, usually, but today she almost looked shy. Uneasy. Aerith nodded with a gentle smile, curious to see what could put her friend in such a state.

"I tried to ask Cloud, but he… He told me to never talk to him about that again. He looked angry. But I want to understand."

"You can tell me. I won't get angry." Aerith winked at Yuffie, but she was worried. Nothing ever made Cloud mad. These days, if anything, he was… apathetic. She couldn't think of a single thing Yuffie said that could anger him.

"It's about Zack. That's a name I remember from when I was a kid, from before Radiant Garden disappeared. I barely remember him, and I don't know what happened to him, but I'd like to know why never heard about him. He was your friend, wasn't he? He was-Aerith?"

The cup Aerith was holding slipped from her hands, exploding into millions of tiny pieces on the floor of Merlin's house.

"It's okay! You know what, forget I asked, I don't need to know!" Yuffie was probably as pale as Aerith now, and probably shaking as much. But Aerith sat down, shook her head and sadly smiled.

"No, you're right. You should know. He loved you a lot, playing with you when you were just a baby. He would be sad you'd forget about him. What do you want to hear?"

"Everything."

Yuffie sat next to Aerith, eyes wide open. Aerith chuckled softly. "Everything? Alright then. This started as a wonderful story. I grew up in the orphanage, and he would visit a lot. He would always be in some kind of troubles, but never would lose his smile, no matter what. He kept on joking that he would protect me from anything, that he would be my hero someday. That when we would grow up, he'd ask for my hand and stay by my side forever."

Yuffie smiled. "That's sweet. Did you love him?"

"It all started when we were too young for this to really matter. I loved him the same way I loved anyone else. We were kids. But as we grew up, things started to change. He really was more important to me than anyone else. The way he'd smile, that crease between his brows when he frowned, that pout when he sulked… He had become special to me, and he had noticed.

"That's when, one day, he came to me, and told me very seriously that he had noticed the way I looked at him, that he could tell by my eyes that I was in love with him. He bought me a red ribbon for my hair, and he asked me out. ' _Just one date'_ , he said, ' _and if you think this won't work out, I'll be fine. Just give me one date._ ' I agreed, and that one date became two, and four, and even more. Things were wonderful. You were just a baby, and he'd play with you or rock you until you'd fall asleep. He taught Cloud how to use a sword, and Cloud looked up at him so much. He was a figure model to us all, and he was my boyfriend. Life was beautiful, Yuffie. Nothing we could complain about, nothing we should complain about."

Aerith stopped, staring at her shaking hands. If only the story had stopped there. If only Zack was still here. If only.

"Aerith…? What-What happened next?" Yuffie's voice was so low, as if she wanted to know just as much as she didn't wanted to. She wanted this story to end here too.

"Sephiroth happened." Aerith closed her eyes. It was stupid to blame Sephiroth for this, and she knew it. But this was the only thing she allowed herself to be stupid for. To be selfish for. "He wasn't always that… Cruel being you know him for. When we were younger, he was as much of a hero to Zack as Zack was to Cloud. It all started so stupidly. Cloud and Tifa got attacked by a Behemoth while they were playing outside. Zack rushed to help them, but the Behemoth was too strong. Sephiroth helped him, and both Cloud and Tifa were safe. Unharmed. Everything was fine. Until… Until Sephiroth joked about how a true hero would have been able to defeat this monster by himself. About how Zack was still just a kid with a sharp stick.

"Zack came to talk to me the very next day. ' _Can I tell you a terrible thing?_ ', he said. _'It seems that I'm too weak and I can't protect you. I'm leaving to become a true hero. You'll be proud, Aerith. Please don't be sad, and remember you are the greatest thing that ever happened to me_.'

"Nothing I said could change his mind. He would be someone who could protect us. He would be our true hero. And the day he'd return, he would ask for my hand."

Tears started falling on her closed fists. She did nothing to wipe them away.

"I don't know how he did this, but he managed to leave our world, in order to start his training. Did you know that Mogs can travel through worlds, thanks to their own magic? I wrote Zack a letter every week, and gave them to the Mogs. Then, some day, the Mog said they couldn't deliver my letter. They couldn't find Zack. I kept on writing them, I kept on sending them, every day, praying that the Mogs would find him. Week after week, until Radiant Garden crumbled into ruins, destroyed by Xehanort. It's only the day our world was gone that I accepted that Zack was too. I wrote him a final letter, and I let him go."

"Oh, Aerith, I'm…"

"His parents are still there, you know. When the world was restored, they were brought back, in their house. They believe he is still training somewhere. They believe he doesn't write. And neither Cloud nor I ever had the courage to tell them that their son isn't coming back home.

"That's why we don't ever talk about him, Yuffie. That's why Cloud doesn't want to hear that name. We both loved him in our way, and losing him was the greatest pain ever. If you are ever to fall in love with someone… Take care, Yuffie. Love is a double-edged sword. There's a lot to win… But so much more to lose. I don't want you to ever get hurt the way I did. The way _we_ did."

Aerith leaned in, putting a kiss on Yuffie's forehead. The girl was crying as well, taking Aerith in her arms. "I understand, Aerith. But I don't want to forget about him. I don't want anyone to ever forget about who he was." She shoved her hand in her pocket, and took a Red Ribbon from it. "Do you think we could wear something, to remember him? He gave you a Ribbon, all these years ago. Red Ribbons are a symbol of fate. Let's all wear one, to tie our fates together. And I'm sure that someday, these ribbons will thread a way to Zack. If not in this life, then in another one."

Aerith gasped, and nodded. She liked the idea. She didn't want to forget, either. She wanted to move on, but to remember him. She helped Yuffie tie the Ribbon around her arm, and watched the girl run to the door. "I have to buy one for everyone! I'll be right back!"

Aerith chuckled, watching her go. She put her hand to her hair, taking the ribbon tying it up. This ribbon had been the symbol of her love for him. Now it would be the symbol of everything he was. Cloud would like the idea. Tifa would, too. Everyone would.

With a smile, she held the piece of fabric against her heart.

"Gone, but not forgotten, my hero."

_Until we meet again._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The wait is almost over. Less than 24 hours to go.
> 
> Fin.
> 
> Thanks to anyone who read this! Enjoy KH3 whenever you can, the way you want! I still have a few days ahead of me before I can play it, but I'm super excited. I wonder if Zack will be here! I wonder if FF characters will return, or even make their debut! I wonder what ships will become real, who will actually die, how this all will end! I wonder how much I'll cry and suffer and laugh and insult bosses I can't beat and listen to the music and play the minigames and- well, you get the idea.
> 
> I might post other stuff, but I won't post anything KH3 related before at least March 1st, so if you see a new fic before that, they won't contain any spoiler. See you around!


End file.
